Anxiety Dreams

Dear Reader,

A lot has been going on for Lawler + Fadoul lately, as you may have noticed. Our CD is out; we had three CD release house parties; we went on tour with Prelude Cocktail; and the first week of December, we were in the Washington, DC area for lots of school shows (with 16 shows in 3 days!!) It’s all been pretty exciting, but let’s be honest, a bit stressful too.

For me, that kind of stress leads to some pretty hilarious anxiety dreams. Well, they seem hilarious after the fact, anyway. I’ve had two whoppers during this busy L+F season.

Anxiety Dream No. 1: Flute Field Trip to Outer Space

Yes, you read that right. In the dream, I was taking a bunch of Suzuki flute students on a field trip to outer space. I think this has something to do with having seen Gravity the week before.  Anywho, there we were, in the Space Shuttle, me and all the cute little Suzuki kids, and of course, something went horribly wrong and we had to prepare for a crash landing. And of course, there weren’t enough oxygen masks. In fact, there were only two, one for the captain, and one for Danny Castellano (the character from The Mindy Project…not really sure what he was doing on a flute field trip to outer space, but that’s the subconscious for you!) So they sent us all into a stairwell (this dream Space Shuttle had a stairwell), where we were to just hang on tight and hope for the best. There were a few terrifying moments, with engines whining, walls shuddering, kids whimpering, and me feeling incredibly responsible, and then we landed with a little bump and everyone was fine.

We were reunited with all their parents on a beach.

The end.

Anxiety Dream No. 2: Flute Playing meets Synchronized Swimming

Just a few days after the ill-fated flute field trip to outer space, I had another doozie.

In this one, I had to play a concerto, the famous Concertino by Cecile Chaminade, in some sort of tropical location. The orchestra was arrayed out on a second-floor U-shaped balcony, overlooking a U-shaped bay. I had to play while treading water in the bay, in my full diva gown…all the while keeping my flute from dipping into the water. At one point the very end of the flute did go into the water, and I had a moment of panic over the brand new pads I had just had installed, but it turned out not to be a problem.

In fact, the playing while treading water wasn’t really that hard. The real obstacle was hearing the orchestra. They were very far away, and members of the audience kept jumping in the water. The splashes made it hard to hear the orchestra, and what was even worse was that the audience members kept swimming up to me and trying to talk to me during the performance.

As if that wasn’t enough, a Russian submarine (Cold War era throwback anxiety, anyone?) was sneaking into the bay, and I had to figure out a way to warn everyone without the Russians knowing I was on to them.

Then I woke up.

The end?

There you have it, dear Reader, a glimpse into the subconsciuos life of a musician.


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